If I don't at least attempt to write something today, I will probably stop posting altogether. This is how a lot of my writing projects end up: I start off strong, get a few pages together, take notes. I can see the story perfectly and it's just begging me to bring it out, to be born.
Then, doubt creeps in. The characters start to seem flat or cliched. The story starts to say, "Not tonight, dear, I have a headache", or yawns when I start talking. It used to seem so interesting, and now I just wish it would go away and leave me alone instead of this back-and-forth crap. The magic is gone.
One story died because it was associated too strongly in my mind with one of my exes. I have as much desire to revisit those emotions as I do to stick my foot back under a lawnmower.
Most of the time, it's because the words I commit to paper seem so inadequate to tell the tale. It doesn't match up with what is in my head. That dissonance is enough to make me want to give up. Up until now, that's what I've done.
So, I have five pages of a story written, and it all looks like utter crap to me. If it was printed out, I'd burn it. I'm tempted to smash up my netbook and throw it in a river so the file can never be recovered. I've been wanting a gaming laptop anyway.
This time, I'm not giving up. I'm going to write as much as I can. Let's see where it goes.
Hey, look at that. Another blog post.
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