Anyone reading this who is exactly where they thought they would be in life, with the exact person they thought they'd be with, living in their dream house with their ideal job is now excused. Take a walk. This blog is for the rest of us.
Was there ever a time in your life that you felt helpless? Where you thought no matter what you said or did, things wouldn't change? I would wager to guess most people have. Change is not impossible, but it's also not painless. That's how your mind can make you stay exactly where you're at, even if it's slowly killing you.
Stagnation is comfortable. It requires no effort other than to stay where you are, as you are, who you are. Changing means questioning yourself: "Am I the person I want to be/ought to be?" The stagnant life will say, "I haven't killed or raped anyone or robbed a bank, and my friends and family all say I'm a nice guy/girl!" It's a life without risks and minimal reward. After all, if you don't make the effort, you can't be rejected. It's a life that kills you so slowly you won't feel the dying.
I've been there. I hesitate to say that I'm not there right now, because stagnation is tricky like that. If you're in a deep sleep, are you thinking to yourself, "This is some awesome sleep I'm having! I pwned that sleep!" Three years ago I was depressed and on the verge of thinking about doing something irrevocable. Two years ago I was beginning to grasp that I could fight back. One year ago, I told myself I would never be in a relationship with a boy who didn't respect me, and I haven't made that mistake again. It was by no means painless.
In order to change, life kicked the shit out of me until I figured out how to swing back. It's not out of anger, however I don't know how anyone who comes to a realization of how much time they've wasted chasing the moon couldn't be angry. I am not the woman I want to be yet. I will spend my life trying to become her, and I may fail. That doesn't give me cause to give up before even beginning to fight.
So even though stagnating is easy and "safe", I will fight to change for as long as is given me, against the inclination to be satisfied with what I am.
That's what's in the name. Any questions?
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