This post has been brewing for a little while now, and I feel I can put into words what my position is and the how/why it's changed. All right. Here goes.
Abortion. It's an issue that is almost guaranteed to stir up strong opinions. I can tell you by heart every conservative position regarding abortion, because I was once there. Now?
Once upon a time, I thought the answer was simple: "Stop having irresponsible, unprotected sex and you won't have to have an abortion! What's so difficult about keeping your legs shut, you whore?" After all, I had decided to not have sex until marriage, and I wasn't having a problem keeping that. Why didn't everyone else make the only sensible choice?
I missed one simple thing when I made that argument: there is exactly one person on the planet who I can stop from having sex that I believe is wrong, and that is me. My neighbor? I can't stop him or her. My friends and family? I can't stop them either. Everyone else on the planet? Not a chance. I can control what I do with my own body, and that is as far as any argument about abstinence-only can go. I can share my beliefs with others, I can tell them that I think they would be much happier, but I do not have the right to slap a chastity belt on them and throw away the key. I have one body in this debate, mine. I cannot control what other people do with theirs.
You can't expect an unbelieving world to act as if it believes. What if you had a Jewish friend who came upon you eating a BLT and immediately began to condemn you for not following kosher law? When you make the "Just keep your legs shut!" argument, that's what you're doing. Not everyone on the planet thinks exactly like you do, believes exactly what you believe, or follows the same religion. If we did, your argument might have a tiny grain of merit.
What I found regarding my position in the abortion debate is that everything became simpler once I relinquished my Bedroom, PD badge. Accepting that people will have sex whether or not I give it my stamp of approval, I am in favor of increased access to contraceptives and maintaining the legality of abortion to ultimately decrease the abortion rate. The statistics are on my side here: legality of the procedure does not have any effect on the abortion rate. In Africa and Latin America, where most abortions are illegal, the overall abortion rate is 29 abortions per 1,000 women of childbearing age and 32 per 1,000 respectively. In Western Europe, where abortion is generally permitted on broad grounds, the rate is 12 per 1,000 (see here for the worldwide numbers). If we could cut the abortion rate in the US by half (almost 20 per 1000), wouldn't that be a start? If you're going to argue for overturning Roe v Wade and enacting restrictive laws for abortion, please at least be honest with yourself that those policies have been shown to increase the abortion rate.
What does decrease the abortion rate? See here and here. Increased access to reliable contraception, which oddly enough, many pro-lifers are also opposed to. It's the "keep your legs shut!" argument all over again. Just don't do It and you won't ever have to worry about an unplanned pregnancy, and since you're never ever ever doing It you don't need to know about contraceptives or worry about being able to afford them! What I would like to see is increased education, period. When people are educated about their options, they make better choices. Some of them, knowing the possible consequences of an unplanned pregnancy, might even decide that sex outside of marriage or a committed relationship is not for them. You can't make that decision for them, though. It's not your body.
So what am I? I don't think I can retain the label of "pro-life" as it's currently used, since I'm accepting that other people will make choices that I don't agree with and I can't stop them. I'm pro-education: you should know about your body and its drives. If you decide to follow those drives, whether or not I personally approve of it is immaterial. I don't see the Amish out there slashing everyone's tires because they don't drive cars, or Jews campaigning for outlawing pork, or Muslims trying to re-institute Prohibition because they don't drink. I can't expect an unbelieving world to suddenly start acting as if it believes. If it really is all about saving babies for you, ditch all of the slut-shaming arguments. Start supporting initiatives that will actually help mothers, because three-quarters of women who are deciding on abortion are making that decision because they cannot afford to raise a child. If it's really about saving those babies, stop making judgements about how they were conceived. If it's really about saving babies, you should be supporting any health measure that drives the cost of pre & post natal care down, along with supporting mothers with programs such as WIC and welfare. If it's really about saving babies from being murdered, what cost is too great?
